And then the Nun was like, “Oh you! Silly Wabbit.”

There once was a lonely polar bear, who wandered around the Arctic emo-like.  Its face was always mopey.  One day, two dysfunctional bees found themselves instantly, and unexplainably transported to the Arctic right in front of the path of the wandering Polar Bear.  It was close to winter, so the sun was setting earlier, the weather was getting harsher, and the bees died almost instantly – but not before thinking, “WTF?”.

The Polar Bear went on with its day, walking around, eating seals when a cub strayed from its momma.  This particular emo Polar Bear, it is worth noting, is a mutant.  It covers twenty million miles of land and sea a day.  The implications of this, means the Polar Bear runs around super fast, or walks faster (somehow), covering much of the same places it already have, only moments before.  Some of the Arctic creatures believed that this emo Polar Bear is fucked up, and is the reason for many of the snow storms that they have.

As the Polar Bear ran/walked, the ice shelf suddenly broke off (thank you Global Warming(!)) taking away the Polar Bear’s balance, and took it down into the Arctic waters.  For some odd reason, the Polar Bear became trapped underneath the ice, and sank to the bottom of the sea – thanks to the wonky donky super heavy does-not-float-ice piece.  The mutant emo Polar Bear could seemingly hold its breath indefinitely.  But once all the ice had melted away, the Polar Bear struggled to swim back up.  Under the great pressures of ocean, it remained confined.

And so…somewhere in the Artic (waters), a Polar Bear waits…

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